


right to the top, don't hold back

by lacecat (orphan_account)



Series: Tallster Modern Spy AU [2]
Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Fluff, Misunderstandings, Multi, borrowing heavily from spy movie tropes of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:05:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8251846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lacecat
Summary: It’s just protocol, he tells himself. There’s nothing strange about that.(in which there are major misunderstandings, Ben meets the President, and Nathan Hale is an eternal third wheel)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> aaand I wanted to do more Caleb/Ben stuff so, uh. here we go. hoping to do a multi-part story that I'll try to add on every couple of days! hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> (some things will make more sense if you read the first part of the series, but honestly, who am I to tell you to live your life)

It’s freezing in the safe house. They’re in some remote city in western Europe, where Sackett has sent them on a reconnaissance mission. But apparently no one has checked to make sure the heating still works in the shack that they’ve been sent to live in, and Ben already misses the heat of the late summer back in the states. 

 

The mission is just gathering intelligence on some cult figurehead that the US government wants to keep their eye on. No assassinations or infiltrations, as before they left, Caleb had made it very clear to Sackett that Ben was still not entirely healed from the incident in Amsterdam, and that he would pull the plug if it looked like they were getting into any combat. 

 

His official reasoning was that Ben was his only backup, and it wouldn’t do for Caleb to be left without someone watching his back. The unofficial reason that Caleb wasn’t too keen on putting Ben in more danger so soon after nearly losing him, especially now that they were spending more nights together than not. 

 

Ben had tried to argue that his side hasn’t hurt in weeks, but then Sackett had fixed them with a look over his glasses and allowed Caleb the power to make that particular call.

 

He had been irritated with Caleb for the rest of the day, as Ben knew that it was ridiculous to try to protect him, that he had been getting into their particular brand of danger long before he even met Caleb. 

 

But that night, as Ben argued with him, Caleb had told him in no uncertain words that of course he knew that Ben was Sackett’s most capable agent, and that he just needed just a bit more time before one of them ended up in a hospital bed again. With Caleb’s expression especially raw at that last part, Ben could feel his resolve crumble, and apologized by kissing the tense lines of his jaw, the lines in his forehead.

 

Back in the safe house, they’re pressed together in the mattress in the corner of the room. Even though it’s still early fall, at night, the temperatures have dipped enough so that their breath fog up the air. As agents, it makes sense for them to sleep in the same cot, preserving whatever body heat they have between them.

 

It’s common protocol to keep them both in prime condition, after all. Even if it’s just a reconnaissance mission, as it wouldn’t do either of them good to have sore muscles in the morning from shivering at night.

 

What is definitely not protocol, however, is Ben splayed out, Caleb’s weight pressing him into the bed as they rock together. 

 

“Oh god-” Ben moans, his head thrown back, as Caleb mouths at the line of his neck, teasing the flesh with his teeth. He thrusts against him harder with a groan of his own. “Yes, yes, right there, _Caleb_ -” 

 

Caleb complies, gripping his hips tighter as Ben’s heels dig into the back of his thighs even tighter, almost painfully, but he wouldn’t stop for all the money in the world.His beard is rough against Ben’s neck, and he buries a moan into the other man’s skin. 

 

Afterwards, they’re curled together. “So loud, Tallboy, you could’ve blown our cover just then,” Caleb murmurs, pressing a smile into Ben’s neck where the skin is pink. 

 

Ben huffs a small laugh. “You started it, jerk,” he says, color still high on his cheeks. 

 

“That I did,” Caleb agrees, “I’m a weak man,” and he sneaks an arm around Ben’s waist, aimlessly drawing circles into his side with his fingers. 

 

Ben pulls the sheets more securely over them, and Caleb lets him put his feet between his warmer calves. “You think Sackett knows for sure? About us?”

 

Caleb stills his movements, briefly pausing at the question before replying. “Probably. He’s seen the way I look at you. I mean, you told me he practically threw you out of the office when I came back from that mission.” 

 

“He did,” Ben says. “But there’s a difference between suspecting and knowing. It’s not exactly common for agents to be in a committed long term relationship.”

 

“‘Committed long term relationship’? Benjamin Tallmadge, you have the most romantic words, don’t you?” The bearded man teases. 

 

“Would you prefer star-crossed lover?” 

 

Caleb winces. “Ugh. But really, Sackett doesn’t seem to be the don’t ask, don’t tell type, so what are you really worried about?” 

 

Ben lifts his head, his eyes searching as they meet Caleb’s. “I’m not ashamed of you. I want that to be clear.”

 

Caleb smiles softly. “I know that. If you don’t want to tell Sackett, we don’t need to tell Sackett. Hell, if you didn’t want to tell President Washington, we don’t need to tell him even if he asked us himself.” He continues to trace circles in Ben’s side. “Have you told Nathan?” 

 

“I texted him after the first night we spent together,” Ben admits. 

 

“ _Benjamin Tallmadge_. Are you saying that you kiss and told on me?” 

 

“I think we did more than that,” Ben says with a laugh, and Caleb kisses him mid-laughter. “Oh, and Anna knows too.”  


 

“Oh yeah, she definitely does. Remember when she walked in on us at the house?”

 

“Why did you remind me? I couldn’t look her in the eye for the next week!”

 

Caleb chuckles. “Love you,” he mumbles into Ben’s shoulder, and Ben holds him tighter as they fall asleep.

 

 

•••

 

 

The mission is successful. Ben manages to slip a tracking device into the cult leader’s cell phone, and Caleb finds out through an old naval colleague that the base that the cult is based out of is in fact owned by a corporation that has long been fueled by blood money. 

 

They fill out the paperwork, send the files to the appropriate authorities, and are on the next flight back to the United States.

 

At the airport, Anna picks them up at the front entrance in her nondescript black car. “How was the vacation, you two?” she says, smirking as she puts the car in park. 

 

Ben rolls his eyes, putting his and Caleb’s bags into the trunk. “Thanks for picking us up.” 

 

Caleb slides into the backseat. “Quite lovely, but don’t you worry because I missed your lovely face, Annie.” He leans forward to kiss her on the cheek, as she laughs and bats him on the chest. 

 

“Save it for Ben. Your beard has gotten even longer, I see.” 

 

Ben comes around the car to sit in the passenger seat. “He’s refusing to trim it until Sackett makes him.” 

 

“Hey, you know you like it!”

 

“I don’t hate it, there’s a difference.” 

 

“You just can’t resist my outdoorsman charm.”

 

“Ugh,” Anna says, as she begins to drive away. “I should’ve known the honeymoon period wouldn’t have ended by now.” 

 

Ben’s eyes meet Caleb’s in the window, and Caleb gives him a slow smile that makes Ben swallow and look away lest either of them see him blush.

 

 

•••

 

 

 

At their neighborhood, Anna drops them off in front of Caleb’s house. Two houses down,their neighbor Abe spots the car and brightens, walking over. “Anna! Hey- oh Ben, Caleb, you’re back too!”  


Caleb smirks at her as he and Ben get their bags. “You’ve got a friend there, eh, Annie?”he says, before Abe is in earshot. 

 

She slants an unimpressed look at him before they turn to face Abe. “Hello, Abe. How are you doing?” Ben greets him. 

 

“Good, good! Busy with law school, you know,” he says. “Anna, I think I might’ve not gotten your number the other night, can I, uh, get it again?” 

 

Caleb stifles a laugh, as Anna raised a dark eyebrow at Abe. “Me and Ben are headed in, I’ll see you both later,” he says, as Ben steers him away. 

 

“Well that’s going to be a train wreck,” Ben says, closing the front door behind them. Whiskers jumps down from her perch on the steps and purrs, rubbing her face on Ben’s legs as Caleb reaches down to scratch between her ears. 

 

“What, Abe and Anna? It’s cute, in a weird, heterosexual way. But what happened with Abigail?”  


 

“Abigail’s on a long term mission, Anna told me they separated before she left.Abe might some sort of rebound.” He sets down the bags into the living room. “I don’t think Anna’s ever really done long-term relationships.”

 

“I don’t know, she seemed all right with giving him her number again. Besides, Abe seems to really like her.”  


 

“I’ve known Anna for a while now. She’s into the equally dangerous type, which Abe is not. I mean, he wears beanies in the summer just to avoid scalp sunburns.”  


 

“Maybe she likes that about him. Opposites attract and all, Benny boy.” 

 

Ben snorts. “That’s a cliche. We’re not opposites.” 

 

“I wear sandals and socks regularly. I have yet to see you wear something other than Nikes or dress shoes. Once I ate for a week on plastic plates because I didn’t want to wash any dishes. You could probably perform surgery on any flat surface in your house. Shall I go on?” 

 

“But you forgot,” and Ben snags the loops of his jeans to bring Caleb in close, “We’re both into the dangerous type, aren’t we?”

 

“Me, dangerous?” Caleb says, cheekily slipping his hands under the back of Ben’s pristine dress shirt and untucking it. “I don’t know, I’m not the one who’s crazy hot when brandishing a AK-47 while still having an ironed line down my trousers.” 

 

“I think you have your appeal,” Ben murmurs, tipping the man’s head up into a long kiss. 

 

Caleb swats him away eventually, claiming that he needed a shower. “And don’t say we can share, because we both know that never ends up with either of us particularly clean,” he says, raking his eyes up and down Ben’s body before leaving. 

 

Ben smiles to himself as he unzips their bags, starting to separate their clothes into piles for laundry. He’s down by the washing machine in the basement, putting a load on when he realizes something. 

 

They do their laundry together. Most of Ben’s clothes are in the closet that Caleb let him have in the master bedroom. They eat all of their meals together, and the last time Ben has been in his house for more than a few minutes was to grab a spare shirt that he had left in the closet. 

 

Caleb’s told him the key code to the safe full of guns, and Ben is the one who remembers to buy litter for Whiskers. Recently, Ben’s been doing Caleb’s bills when he does his own, and Caleb cooks all of their meals that they eat together. 

 

He finishes putting on the laundry and walks up the stairs, and meets Caleb in the kitchen. “Are we living together?” Ben asks, bluntly, before he can stop himself. 

 

Caleb sets down the bowl of cereal, chews for a long moment before swallowing. “Uh, yeah? Are you kidding?”  


 

Ben rubs a hand over his eyes. “I’m not.”

 

“Jesus Christ. When’s the last time you’ve slept in another bed, I mean?” He watches Ben in fascination as the tips of his ears burn. 

 

“I still own my house! Forgive me if I wanted to clarify _this,_ ” Ben hisses, motioning between them. 

 

“I thought you wanted your own space for whatever reason! I don’t mind. I know I’m messy, I just figured you wanted to iron your sweaters without me to spill something on them or whatever.” Caleb reaches for his spoon, but then pauses. “I mean, do you not want to live together?” His voice is still light, but there’s a line that appears on his forehead, and Ben quickly backtracks.

 

 

“I do, I really do, Caleb. Do you want me to move in with you?”

 

 

“Ben, I told you I was in it for good. I meant it,” Caleb tells him, picking up his cereal bowl again too casually. “I’ll get you a key tomorrow, then.”

 

 

“Okay,” Ben says. “Okay. I love you.” 

 

“I love you too, even if you’re a bit of an idiot,” Caleb says. “Cereal?”

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

“And then he says he’ll make me a key,” Ben says to the screen. “So now we’re officially living together.” 

 

“Congratulations,” Nathan replies, dry as ever. “Have you picked out your china sets yet?” 

 

“Stop,” Ben says, even though he has certainly thought about perhaps going ring shopping in the future. “Do you think I should go have him meet my dad?”

 

“He hasn’t met Papa Tallmadge yet? He should know his future father-in-law, Ben.”  


 

“I haven’t seen my father in two years,” Ben retorts. “I’m not sure he even knows where I live now.” 

 

Nathan whistles. “Take a weekend off, sometime. Jersey’s a quick train ride away. Two years, really?” 

 

“We grew apart after Sam died,” Ben says, and although the words are still hard for him to get out, he continues, “They were always close.” 

 

Before Nathan can reply, the door swings open, and Caleb walks into the room. “Hey, have you seen- sorry, you busy?”

 

“I’m just talking to Nathan,” Ben says, turning the computer towards him. 

 

“Oh, hey, Nathan,” Caleb says, stooping besides Ben. “How’ve you been?” 

 

“Oh, you know, cleaning up political messes, coverups, the usual,” Nathan says. “Tell me, has Ben even been shot at again since the last time I’ve seen him? He’s looking shockingly healthy for a change.”

 

Caleb laughs. “No more than usual, you know. How’s DC?”

 

“Busy,” Nathan says. “Washington’s new policies are a nightmare for me right now. But I hear everything’s going well for you two. You have that disgustingly in-love glow, I can see it through the screen.”

 

Ben rolls his eyes, and Caleb gives a short laugh again. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He runs a hand along Ben’s arm before he leaves, and Ben smiles as he watches him go before realizing that Nathan is still on the call. 

 

“I’m going to die alone,” Nathan says. “Tell me how Whiskers is doing.” 

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

The next few weeks run smoothly, as they go to and from work. In the mornings, Ben makes breakfast as Caleb showers. While they eat together, Ben usually reads the newspaper and Caleb takes the time to clean his standard issue handgun, often doing Ben’s as well as it keeps his hands busy.

 

Over breakfast one morning, Ben is focused on a story about President Washington’s visit to South Korea when Caleb asks him, “Have you thought about selling your house?”

 

Ben’s engrossed in the story, and gives a half-shrug as he replies.“Mm, maybe. Haven’t gotten around to it I guess.”

 

He doesn’t see the slight tense in Caleb’s shoulders, as he says, “Do you think you might soon?”  


 

That does catch Ben’s attention, and he looks up with a frown. “We’re not exactly tight for money, I figured I’d just get it done eventually. Why do you ask?”

 

Caleb relaxes suddenly. “No reason, I was just asking.” His voice is odd, however, but Ben looks at him and reasons that it’s just early in the morning, so he goes back to his newspaper again. Besides, Caleb said he was fine with Ben still owning another house.

 

They leave for work soon after, and Ben doesn’t think about it again, nor does Caleb bring up the house.

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

The next few weeks run smoothly, as they go to and from work. In the mornings, Ben makes breakfast as Caleb showers. While they eat together, Ben reads the newspaper and Caleb cleans his standard issue handgun, and it’s ridiculously domestic and everything Ben has ever wanted. 

 

One afternoon at work, Sackett summons Ben into the office. He shuts the door behind him, and Ben takes a seat across from a big stack of folders.  


 

“We have a mole,” is what Sackett says straight off the bat. “In this department, very likely.” 

 

“A mole?” Ben asks, leaning forward. “From Benedict Arnold?”

 

“Entirely likely, but it could be a separate ring, I just don’t know yet. I need you to do some vetting,” Sackett says, motioning towards the thick stack of files. “It’s just you on this task, and I am sure you understand the need for extreme secrecy.”

 

“Understood, sir,” Ben says. “Is there anyone else you’ve vetted?” 

 

“Not a single soul,” the man says, adjusting his glasses. “Just you. I’m granting you access to personnel files. If anyone asks, you’re working on a personal project for me for our Canadian counterparts. Again, extreme secrecy will be necessary, Agent Tallmadge.”

 

Ben nods, standing up to leave. As he reaches for the doorknob, Sackett calls after him, “That includes Lieutenant Brewster.” 

 

Ben freezes for the briefest second before nodding again, opening the door and leaving Sackett’s office. 

 

It’s just protocol, of course, he tells himself. There’s nothing strange about that.

 

•••

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop whoop slowly contributing to the Ben/Caleb fic collection
> 
> a lot going on in this chapter! I gotta get my treasured spy tropes in somewhere of course :

 

  

Sackett has him put to work straight away. While Ben focuses on transcripts of past defectors and recruits, Sackett works on narrowing down the pool of current agents.

 

He spends the rest of the day, and the rest of the week for that matter, poring through papers at his desk, only stopping when it’s time to go home. The work is time-consuming and exhausting, as he tracks down handlers and anyone with the relevant intelligence throughout the branch to reaffirm the statements on paper, all the while careful to maintain his cover that he’s just doing some auditing for Sackett. 

 

Ben works late nights that week, and then the week after that as well. Caleb doesn’t mention it, likely due to his own busy schedule that keeps him working long hours as well. They don’t see each other at work much. At night when they have dinner together, it’s often quiet beyond idle conversation, both of them falling asleep together before waking up early the next morning. 

 

One night, however, Caleb doesn’t come home.

 

They drive into work separately for convenience purposes, or that’s what Ben assumes, because Caleb often has meetings with various naval officials in a separate part of the city. He’s out of the navy technically, but it’s useful for the Navy to talk with one of their own when trying to work with the intelligence branch, so Sackett sends him when they work with the military. 

 

When Ben pulls up in the driveway, he’s not concerned when Caleb’s car isn’t there at first, assuming that he’s just running late at the office just like previous nights. 

 

By the time the clock strikes midnight, however, and Ben hasn’t received a single text message, he begins to worry. Caleb hasn’t told him of any urgent mission he’s been sent on, nor has he texted that he’s just having a late night. 

 

He goes to bed around one in the morning, consoling himself with the thought that perhaps Caleb is just truly caught up with work. He’s not going to be some sort of jealous lover, he trusts Caleb. 

 

At around five in the morning, the front door opens, waking Ben up. He keeps his eyes closed as Caleb walks around the bed, hears the soft swish of his shirt landing on the ground, and climbs into bed besides him. He’s too tired to talk to him in that moment, and he falls asleep again. 

 

At seven, Ben’s alarm goes off, and he rolls over to turn it off. He gets into the shower, and by the time he’s out, Caleb is awake in their bed, rubbing his eyes. 

 

“Morning,” Ben says. “Late night?”  


 

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you when I came in this morning,” Caleb says apologetically with a yawn. “I forgot to text you, I had a late meeting.” 

 

Ben turns from him, drying himself off with a towel before picking up a button-down shirt. “With Sackett?” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, just some operation business that he wanted me to clear up. Apparently the Navy’s not too keen on just giving up their ships without a reason,” Caleb replies with a laugh. “Had to turn on the charm for some old admiral in another time zone.” 

 

Ben is very good at his job, so as he listens to Caleb, he knows with dead certainty that he is being lied to. 

 

The realization is a like a punch to the stomach. He wants to ask Caleb why he’s lying, but that feeling of sickly surprise prevents him from outright demanding an answer. 

 

“Well, try to text me next time,” Ben says instead. 

 

“Will do, Tall boy,” Caleb says. “I’m going to catch a bit more sleep, I’ll see you in the office.” 

 

 

•••

 

 

The files that Sackett has Ben pouring over today are some of the most heavily redacted papers that he’s ever seen. Most of the pages are covered in black bars of ink, and Ben scrubs a hand over his eyes at the thirtieth page of unintelligible information. 

 

“That looks rough,” Anna tells him, passing him a cup of coffee. “Is Sackett working you to the bone again?”

 

Ben accepts the coffee with a grateful look. “Just some old projects I’m auditing. I heard you’ve been showing around some new protégés?” 

 

“Mmm, some new recruits. I sent them to go bother Townsend of course,” she says with a smirk, setting down at her desk opposite of Ben’s. “Caleb out today?”  


 

“He’s coming in later today,” Ben says, keeping his eyes on the papers in front of him, trying not to think about how Caleb almost certainly lied to him this morning. “How are things with you and Abe?” 

 

She rolls her eyes. “There’s no Abe and I, first of all. But I suspect that we’ll be seeing more of him soon.” 

 

“Oh really?” he asks as he absent-mindedly flips through one of the files. “How’s that?” 

 

“Well, Sackett’s looking into recruiting him.” 

 

Ben’s head snaps up. “ _Abe?_ As in, my neighbor, Abe?” 

 

“You didn’t hear it from me, but apparently he’s set to take a job after graduation that has him involved in a lot of foreign pockets, if you know what I mean,” she says. “Sackett’s having me reach out to him. I guess there’s something in that suburban water after all.” 

  
Ben lets out an exhale. “Still, I can’t believe he sees something in him.”

 

“Some people will surprise you,” Anna says. “I would’ve thought that Sackett would have told you though.” 

 

Ben’s mouth tightens slightly. “I suppose he didn’t think it necessary.” 

 

Anna makes a humming sound and turns to her own work. Ben tries to focus on the paperwork for the rest of the day, but he still has that nagging feeling deep in his stomach that he just can’t shake off.

 

 

  
•••

 

 

That night, Caleb’s car is parked in the driveway first. He opens the door to see Caleb emerge from their room, tugging on one of Ben’s old Yale tee-shirts. 

 

“Hey,” he says, walking over and giving Caleb a brief kiss. “I missed you at work today.”  


 

Caleb smiles at him, but twists out of his reach to grab his phone from where it’s on the front table. “Sackett’s been keeping you busy, eh?”  


 

“Yeah, you know, I think today I fell asleep at my desk twice,” Ben jokes as he goes into their bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes. “Do you want me to order pizza?”  


 

“Sounds good to me,” Caleb replies, before appearing at the doorway. “Hey, did you happen to talk to Sackett today? I was trying to get a word with him, but he seemed to have meetings all day.”

 

“Not today, I stayed at my desk mostly,” Ben says, pulling on a loose henley. “Anything I can help with?”

 

“That’s alright,” Caleb says, and Ben’s distracted, so he doesn’t catch the way that Caleb’s eyes are following him from the room in a cautious way. “I’ll just ask him tomorrow.” 

 

After dinner, they find themselves kissing, Caleb’s hands making their way underneath the waistband of Ben’s sweatpants as he pushes Ben onto the couch. While Ben’s not complaining, as they’ve been too tired or distracted to be intimate lately, Caleb is rather insistent, and his movements are bordering on rough as he wraps a hand around Ben, leaving bruising kisses on his collarbone.

 

After Ben’s spent, he moves to get Caleb undressed, but to his confusion, Caleb pushes his hands away. “I’m good for tonight,” he says gently enough, but Ben still feels stung. 

 

“If you say so,” Ben says uncertainly, watching as Caleb gets up to go to the bathroom. He pulls up his pants, and makes his way to the bedroom. Something is definitely wrong, but then when Caleb enters the room, he presses a very gentle kiss on his forehead before they sleep, and Ben tells himself that he’ll ask Caleb in the morning. 

 

Only the next morning, Caleb is out of the house early, and Ben drives to work without even a morning kiss from him. He’s still thinking about it when he walks into the office, where Robert Townsend is waiting for him with a characteristic frown on his face. Anna’s not in yet, and Ben doesn’t see Caleb either.

 

“Agent Tallmadge,” he says, his eyes alert and studying as Ben comes up to him. Townsend is one of the branch’s top data handlers. While he never goes out into the field, he is responsible for managing most of the encrypted data, and Ben knows that if he is already waiting for Ben at this hour, something is definitely up.

 

“Townsend,” Ben replies. “How can I help you?”

 

“Can we find somewhere more private to speak, perhaps?” Townsend says evenly.

 

Ben leads him to the elevator, where they both enter. As it starts to move down, Ben presses the stop button, before typing in a code so that the alarm doesn’t go off. 

 

Townsend clears his throat. “This works, I suppose. I’ll be frank with you. I know that Sackett has you investigating a mole in the division.” 

 

Ben doesn’t confirm or deny right away, only watching Townsend. He personally cleared the man from being the mole near the start of the investigation, but now Ben wonders how he discovered his and Sackett’s operation. He remains silent. 

 

Townsend continues, “You don’t have to confirm or deny anything to me, I only know because Sackett’s data requests run through my system, and I saw what he was doing. What I wanted to tell you is that I know there is a leak, and the level of intelligence that has been sold already to our foreign counterparts means that the mole is in this office.” 

 

At that, Ben takes a half step back. “You mean to say that it’s an agent here?” He had assumed that it was a lower level employee, but now he realized that he didn’t even know the specifics of the intelligence being leaked, only Sackett, and now apparently Townsend.  


 

“To be honest, Tallmadge, I thought it was you for a while,” Townsend says, to Ben’s surprise. “You do have the credentials and credible alibis in order to pull it off. But then when I went to Sackett, he told me that he was already sure it wasn’t you. You were one of the first people he cleared himself, but I’m afraid that it might be someone near you.” 

 

“Near me? What do you mean?”

 

“Sackett has his suspicions as well. We both think that your-” 

 

Townsend cuts off when they both hear muffled banging, which Ben recognizes as gunfire. On instinct, he gets low, pushing Townsend close to the ground. 

 

“Shit!” Ben swears, hand going to his gun on instinct. In the distance, he can hear alarms going off. “It’s coming from one of the main levels. Can I get up there from the shaft?”

 

Townsend nods somewhat shakily, reaching up to push on one of the ceiling tiles until it’s removed from the roof of the elevator. “We’re only a level down, careful not to touch the wiring on the back.” 

 

Ben nods, taking off his jacket. “Wait a minute so I’m clear, and then take the elevator down to the main level and get out.” Making sure his gun is securely tucked in its holster, he hoists himself up to the top of the elevator. He climbs up the wire to the floor they’d just left, and makes sure the coast is clear before swinging his legs up to get on the floor. 

 

The area is on lockdown mode, the lights powered off except for the flashing fire alarm, and the blaring alarm is nearly deafening. There are bullet holes in the opposite wall to the elevator, and the window is shattered from across the room. Ben draws his gun, his movements controlled and practiced. 

 

His movements are automatic as he clears the floor; no sign of the shooter. The only location left is Sackett’s office, which he forgoes the elevator to get to and instead uses the emergency staircase, typing into the keypad to unlock the doors. 

 

The door to Sackett’s office is open, and already Ben can see signs of a struggle in an overturned chair and glass leading out of the door. He listens carefully before moving in, swinging his gun as he looks around.

 

The windows behind Sackett’s desk are shattered, and there’s a breeze coming on from where they are many levels above ground. Ben can see the adjacent skyscraper is missing a window lining up to Sackett’s office. _Sniper._

 

No gunshots come, however, and then there’s a faint groan, and Ben rushes to the other side of the desk.

 

Sackett is lying face-down in a puddle of blood. Ben’s stomach drops. He sets down his gun to hurriedly drag Sackett out of plain view from the hole in the side of the office. 

 

“Sackett! Sackett, no, no, no- come on, stay with me-” Ben shouts as he presses down on the holes in Sackett’s chest. It’s bad, and the rational part of Ben’s brain tells him that it’s a lost cause, but he can’t do nothing. 

 

There’s blood everywhere, and Sackett gives one last wheezing breath before going still, his eyes rolling back. His glasses are still on the ground, one of the lenses shattered, and Ben’s training kicks in to stop the bleeding, to start damage control. 

 

His chest stops moving under Ben’s hands. “Damn it!” Ben shouts, doing quick compressions on the man’s chest. “Nathaniel, don’t leave me, come on!” There’s movement at the door, and Ben jerks up, but it’s Townsend, who looks stunned at the scene before him. 

 

Ben continues, even as Sackett stops breathing, until there’s a hand on his shoulder. “He’s gone, Ben,” Townsend says softly. 

 

“I told you to get out!” Ben shouts, and his vision is blurry, and he realizes that he’s crying. Sackett’s been a mentor to him, and the loss is a brutal stab in the chest. 

 

“We’re going to get who did this,” Townsend says. “But you need to leave. Sackett sent me to tell you that he thinks there might be a larger conspiracy at works beyond a simple mole. He was right, by the looks of it, but now that he’s gone, you’re the next target on that list. You need to get out, before anyone gets here.”  


 

“Get out- get out?” Ben rises to his feet shakily. “What do you mean?” Faintly, there are sirens, and Townsend glances down, his brow furrowed. 

 

“You need to go into hiding. Whoever killed Sackett is going to come after you, and if that perpetrator got to Sackett, they’re going to get you unless you go now. We’re going to figure this out. I will meet you in a week at the safe house in Boston.”

 

_Caleb. “_ I can’t just go- Caleb. If they’re coming after me, they might be coming after him too-”  


 

Townsend’s face does a funny twist. “Caleb Brewster was on the short list of suspects that Sackett has. I saw the file myself, the evidence was pointing towards him. You can’t trust him.” 

 

“No, no, Caleb can’t-” Ben tries to say, but then thinks on how Caleb lied to him, the late nights, his strange behavior. “It can’t be him. Oh god.” 

 

“Ben, you need to go now,” Townsend tells him, his face serious. “I will find you. Go now.”

 

Ben casts one more fleeting glance to Sackett’s body, the ruined office, and Townsend’s stiff posture. He picks up his gun and leaves.

 

 

•••

 

 

Back at the house, he works automatically, his brain disconnected as he tries to process it all. Sackett’s death, Caleb’s possible betrayal, the fact he was now on the run, all run through his mind.

 

Ben changes into jeans and a tee-shirt, zipping a hoodie up and slinging a bag of essentials over his shoulder. He tucks his gun into the waistband of his jeans and is about to walk out of the room before there is a quick clicking sound. 

 

He draws his gun instinctively and points it at the sound, and there’s Caleb, his face flat as he points a gun at Ben. 

 

“Caleb-” relief filters through him at the sight, but then Caleb doesn’t put down his gun, and so neither does he, remembering Townsend’s words. “Caleb, Sackett’s dead.” 

 

The other man flinches, but he doesn’t put down his gun. “I know,” Caleb says, and dread fills Ben’s stomach at the seeming nonchalance of those words. 

 

“What do you mean, you know? Caleb-”  


 

“Put down your gun, Ben,” Caleb says, and there’s such pain in his eyes. “Put it down, now.” 

 

Ben slowly shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” he says softly. “Caleb, where were you?”  


 

“Where was I? Where were you?” Caleb shouts then, and Ben realizes that his hands are still covered in dried blood. “Why, Ben?”

  
  
“Why? What do you mean, why? How could you do this to me?” Ben yells right back, angry and scared. “It was you, wasn’t it? Who shot Sackett?”

 

Caleb’s dark eyes widen. “What? I- Ben, how could you say that?” 

 

“I know you could’ve made that shot. You lied to me about where you were. Was it just for the money? Is that why you wanted me to sell the house, too? You could’ve just told me.” Ben says, his eyes never leaving Caleb’s. “I thought I knew you.”  


 

At the last part, part of Caleb’s face crumples. “You do. You do know me. I just thought I knew you. They told me to take you out, but I can’t do it,” Caleb says, softer then. “I can’t pull the trigger.” He puts down the gun, but Ben keeps it trained on him. 

 

“They? Who is “they”, Caleb?” he insists, taking a step forward. “Tell me now.” 

 

Caleb’s face is resigned, and for all of his training, Ben’s hands are shaking slightly as he points the gun at him. But he needs an answer. “Did you ever love me? Or was it just to get close to me, to Sackett?”  


 

There’s a faint trace of confusion on Caleb’s face, as he studies Ben’s face. “Ben, what are you talking about?”  


 

“I know you’re the mole,” Ben says, even though the words are hard to get out. “But why me? Why get close to me, when you could’ve gotten anything just by working at the same department?”

  
  
Caleb takes a cautious step forward, then another, until Ben’s gun is touching his chest. “Ben, listen to me. I’m no mole. They told me you were the mole, I didn’t know you were also working with Sackett on finding the leak-”

 

“Who’s they?” Ben insists, even as Caleb is this close. “Did you kill Sackett?” 

 

“God, Ben, of course not! Why do you think I’m the mole?” 

 

“We knew that it was someone in the office, Sackett never disqualified you-” Ben starts to say, but then Caleb suddenly grabs the gun. They struggle, but Caleb’s superior strength overpowers Ben and he gets the gun, tossing it away before pushing Ben back until he’s pinned against the wall.

 

Ben tries to kick at the shorter man, but Caleb has a bruising grip on his biceps. “Listen to me, Ben, listen to me. We’ve been set up. I’m not the mole, you’re not the mole, all right? But if my Navy superiors told me otherwise, and it looks like whoever Sackett got his information from was leading you wrong too.”

 

Ben stops struggling, wide-eyed as he takes in Caleb. “But-”

 

“Ben, if you’ve ever loved me, give me the benefit of the doubt in this. We’ve been set up, and we need to get out of here now,” Caleb hisses, before letting Ben’s arms go. “There’s a safe house we can get to-” 

 

And then there’s a gunshot.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay on this update! as always, hope you enjoy

•••

 

 

Ben ducks down, taking Caleb’s body weight with him. The first bullet missed them, but the subsequent ones hit where their heads were just a moment ago. They’re coming from the window, now broken, and Ben drags Caleb partially to behind the bed, where they’re protected from gunfire. 

 

“Shit, shit-” Caleb swears, scrabbling on top of Ben. “Arnold’s men.”   


 

“ _Arnold_ \- Caleb, why are they shooting at us?” 

 

“They probably followed me, making sure that I killed you,” Caleb says, reaching past Ben’s head for the gun. “I’l cover you, get to the back where I parked the Jeep. I’ll follow you.” 

 

“Caleb, no,” Ben hisses, pulling him down further before he can move. “I’m not leaving you,” and there’s raw relief and bare hope in Caleb’s eyes, so Ben just has to grab the front of his shirt, and he kisses him hard. Their teeth knock together painfully, and there are bullets flying over their heads, but Caleb sighs as if in relief, into the kiss. 

 

They break apart so that Caleb can retrieve his own gun, passing Ben’s back to him. Ben carefully looks over the bed frame through the window when there’s a break in the shots. “Ten men. Jesus. You aim for the car, I’ll get the machine gun,” he says, and Caleb nods, about to move. 

 

“Wait!” Ben realizes. “Whiskers!” He looks around with a horrified expression, to which Caleb has to laugh at. 

 

Before Ben can get angry, he explains quickly, “She’s safe. I brought her to Abe’s house, snuck her in through a window, before you got here.” He pauses. “I can’t believe you’re worried about the cat just before we get involved in a massive shootout, though.” 

 

Ben looks incredulous. “I love that cat, all right,” he says, then counts to three, and then they’re off and shooting.

 

 

•••

 

 

They’re successful in dodging bullets, and in a matter of minutes, they’re both sliding into the front seat of Caleb’s car, Ben in the driver’s seat. He turns the key in the ignition and then they’re out of there, roaring down the road. Caleb finally puts down his gun by the time they reach the highway and there are no cars following them. 

 

“Christ. I wasn’t looking forward to a car chase, so this is good,” Caleb tries to joke. Now that the adrenaline is wearing off, Ben just slants him a sideways glare.   
  
“Why exactly are Arnold’s men following you?” 

 

Caleb sighs. “The admiral I told you about, right? I really was meeting with him that night. But he told me that you were the mole then.” 

 

Ben lets that turn over in his brain. “How? I mean, what did he say that convinced you?” He merges into the other lane, taking I-95 south. 

 

The bearded man stares out the window. “He said that you were suspected to have hacked into Sackett’s system or something. I didn’t believe him at first, but they must have falsified some paperwork, because there was a lot of evidence you had been communicating with the wrong people. That, and I knew you were working late nights, then there was that thing with the house, and then you were going around talking to many handlers about operations that I knew you weren’t involved in.”

 

“Sackett had me working to uncover a mole, I was questioning a lot of people,” Ben realizes. “Townsend thought it was me too.” 

 

“Townsend? Did he confront you?” Caleb turns to him, as if to search Ben for any wounds. 

 

“No, no, he knew it couldn’t have been me. He’s the one who told me that Sackett had his eye on you, actually, before we found him.” Ben swallows, thinking of broken glasses and blood. 

 

“Sackett? He thought it was me?”   


 

“Not definitively, but your admiral must have led him astray. What was his name?”

 

“His name is Gamble,” Caleb says. “Then who shot Sackett?” 

 

“I don’t know, when Townsend and I got there, it looked like a sniper from an opposite building.” He grips the steering wheel tighter. “Caleb, I’m sorry. I should have trusted you, come to you, or at least waited until there was definitive evidence-” 

 

“No, Ben, I’m sorry. I’ve been an arse to you for weeks, ever since the admiral told me. I should’ve just talked to you.” Caleb sighs. “They told me this morning that you had killed Sackett when he found you out. I couldn’t believe it, but then I saw you about to run, and I- well, I thought I was going to lose you.” He gives a wry laugh. “Honestly, even if you had been the mole, I would’ve let you go. Don’t know why I thought I could’ve taken the shot.” 

 

Ben reaches over, puts his hand on Caleb’s. “You have me,” he says, looking over. “We’re in this together. We’re going to figure this out.”

 

Caleb puts his hand over Ben’s, stroking the inside of his wrist, as Ben turns to look at the road again. “Where are we going, anyways?” 

 

“First, DC,” Ben says. 

 

A few hours later, they pull up in an apartment building just outside of the metro area. It’s early evening now, so there’s little activity in the neighborhood, but Caleb casts a look around before they get out of the car anyways. Ben leads him to the back stairs where they quietly walk up the three flights to the top floor.

 

Entering the hallway, Ben walks down and knocks in front of a familiar door. 

 

The door opens, and Nathan Hale pops his head out, eyes widening almost comically at the sight of Ben and Caleb.

 

They stare at each other for a moment, before Nathan sighs, opens the door more, and says, “This is going to be good.”

 

 

•••

 

 

“So you’re telling me that your employers pitted you against each other, for what? Making sure neither of you would be alive in case one of you were the leak?” Nathan asks. 

 

“We’re thinking there’s a larger plot at hand here. After all, if Sackett was given bad intelligence, it has to be someone much larger that’s caused all of this,” Ben says from where he’s pacing. Caleb is on the couch, his eyes never leaving Ben.

 

Nathan glances between the two of them. “Well if it’s any help, I’ll poke around tomorrow. With Washington coming back tomorrow, no one’s going to notice if I’m sniffing around. Of course, you’re welcome here as long as you need.” 

 

“Thank you, Nathan,” Ben gratefully says. “We’re heading to the safe house by the end of the week, but we just need to lay low for a few days.” 

 

“Sorry the situation had to be so dire for this reunion,” Caleb says with a wry smile. 

 

“Hey, I’ll take it,” Nathan says, matching Caleb’s smirk. “Ever since Ben called me up about his-” and his voice lilts in an unfair impression of Ben“‘ _Oh Nathan, you won’t believe about my totally gorgeous neighbor-”_

 

Ben lets out a squawk. “Nathan!” and Caleb laughs in delight. 

 

Nathan chuckles too. “Seriously though, I’m glad you two got your act together. When Ben was in the hospital, and I saw you there, I knew that you guys were meant to be.” 

 

Ben looks at Caleb softly. “Yeah, I’m glad too,” he says, and now it’s Caleb turn to flush a bit. 

 

“Ugh,” Nathan says. “I just thought of the ridiculously sappy best man speech I’m going to have to say at your wedding.”

 

 

•••

 

 

Later that night, in Nathan’s guest room, they undress each other carefully, as if learning each other’s bodies all over again. Caleb rests a hand loosely in Ben’s blond hair, tracing a thumb over his jaw and cheek. 

 

Ben mouths at Caleb’s hip, the side of his thigh, then rests his chin on Caleb’s stomach as a thought occurs to him. “The house. You mentioned the house, earlier, when you thought I was the mole. Why?”

 

Caleb exhales slowly, and Ben waits. “I guess I made it into something more than it was. When they told me that you were the mole, I thought of the house, that maybe you were keeping it as a base of some sort. But then there was nothing in there, of course, because you’d moved in with me. I thought that maybe you weren’t really ready to live with me, or be with me, and the house was your back-up option. In case you had to bail. I guess I was just resentful, and the idea that you could’ve been lying to me, it hurt me.”   


Ben takes a moment to process that, dipping to press another kiss to Caleb’s stomach. “Caleb-”

  
“No, I know, it was wrong of me. I don’t care about the house anymore obviously, you can have ten houses and I don’t care.” His hand lifts Ben’s face a bit. “I was an insecure idiot. I don’t deserve you, but I love you with all I’ve got, all right?” 

 

“I love you too,” Ben answers. “I’m going to sell the house. I think I was worried that once I sold the house, letting everyone know for sure that I was with you, that my judgment, your judgment would be called in question because we work together. We work so well together, and I didn’t want that to end, or for you to get caught up in some sort of scandal that might’ve caused you to regret being with me-” 

 

Caleb makes a motion as if to interrupt, but Ben has to continue, “I’m so fucking in love with you, Caleb,” and his voice breaks a little with the emotion that’s flooding through him, because he doesn’t think he can ever convey just how much he loves this man. “God, you’re it for me. I love you so much.” 

 

Caleb brushes his face so softly, pulling Ben up so that they can kiss again. “We’re a bit of a mess, Tall boy, but we’ll get there,” Caleb whispers, and Ben smiles into their kiss. 

 

They slide together underneath the sheets, both growing hard as they grind against each other. Beneath them, the mattress makes squeaking sounds, and Ben bites his lip as Caleb watches his face. 

 

“I want you inside me,” Ben says as he rolls his hips down, and Caleb’s hands fly up to clutch at his waist, his eyes closing briefly. 

 

“No lube-” Caleb grits out, and Ben makes a sound like he might actually be dying. “We can make this work, though- here, let me-” He moves Ben so that he’s off his lap, instead lying down behind Ben so that they’re nestled together, with Ben’s back pressed up against Caleb’s front. 

 

Caleb lets go of one hand from of Ben’s hip to spit into his palm, slicking up his cock with saliva. Ben is unsure, tries to turn over, but then Caleb puts pressure on Ben’s own knees until his thighs are shut. Ben realizes what he’s doing and stretches his long legs more, the long muscles of his thighs fluttering as he presses them together. Caleb groans at the sight and directs his cock into the tight line where Ben’s thighs meets, pushing his cock into the sweet heat between his thick thighs. 

 

_“_ Ah, Ben,” Caleb moans, grasping his hips as he watches his cock thrust in and out form between Ben’s thighs. It’s too dry, and his thrusts are too shallow as a result, but the rough drag of skin against skin is distracting and so good, especially now that they’re lined up.

 

On each thrust, his cock brushes Ben’s balls, which causes the blond man to jolt back with a moan of his own, tilting his head as Caleb kisses the back of his shoulder. 

 

Caleb reaches around, grasping Ben’s cock with a saliva-covered hand, pushing his nose into his hair as he inhales. “There you go, sweetheart,” Caleb murmurs, twisting his hand just right so that Ben trembles all over, his breathing heavy now. “You’re so good, so good for me, I love you so much.”

 

Ben tightens his thighs, his arms coming back to clutch at Caleb’s ass, encouraging him to thrust deeper into his thighs. Caleb presses another kiss to the junction between his neck and shoulder, drags his teeth down the line of muscle there. “Come for me, baby, you can do it, come on-” 

 

Ben comes with a muffled shout, biting into his upper arm as to keep quiet, and Caleb soon follows, seeing stars as he presses his forehead against Ben’s back. His come is sticky on the inside of Ben’s thighs, as he withdraws but keeps his arms wrapped around Ben’s torso. 

 

Ben catches his breath first, and gives a hoarse laugh. “Just when I think I’ve learned it all, Brewster,” he says, and Caleb smiles into his skin.

 

 

•••

 

 

They stay low at Nathan’s apartment for the next three days. Luckily, whatever power that has branded them both traitors has not seen to release their images to the media, likely due to the secretive nature of their work.

 

They spend their time watching the news on television, making plan after plan, and Ben works out his stress by cleaning the entirety of Nathan’s apartment, while Caleb endlessly cleans and takes apart and puts back together the guns they’ve accumulated.

 

Nathan comes back with nothing the first or second night, but on the third night, he brings them something better. “I’m bringing you to meet my boss’s boss,” he says, putting his bag down on the front table. 

 

“Your boss’s boss?” Caleb says, then makes a worried sound as Ben goes pale. 

 

“Do you mean Washington?” he says, looking slightly dazed at the thought. 

 

“Hold on,” Caleb interjects. “As in, George Washington, President of the United States?” 

 

“That’s the one,” Nathan replies. “He’s heard about what’s happen, and let’s just say I managed to convince him of what happened. He’s heard of your work, Tallmadge, and he’s keen to meet the man behind one of the most successful intelligence operations.” 

 

“Nathan, I-” Ben seems to flounder, so Caleb steps in. “How do we know Washington isn’t just going to have his security detail whisk us away to super-max? I mean, if this conspiracy is pretty high up- and we don’t even know the details of whatever we’ve been caught in- how do we know the big man isn’t part of it?” 

 

“Caleb!” Ben says. 

 

Nathan studies him with shrewd eyes. “I suppose you don’t. But this is going to be your best shot to clear your names and for us to figure out what’s happening. Dress sharp.”

 

 

•••


	4. Chapter 4

•••

 

The meeting with Washington passes by in a blur. 

 

They have to wait more than a week for the meeting. They begin to get testy being cooped up in Nathan’s apartment, but Nathan is able to squeeze them in one cold, rainy morning. 

 

Ben wore one of Nathan’s suits, as it had fit him reasonably well, but Caleb was forced to go without a jacket since he was both shorter and broader than either of them. Caleb combs his beard, and Ben adjusts his tie half a dozen times before Caleb begins to swat his hands away. 

 

He remembers Nathan hustling them into the White House (as in, the White House, home of the presidents, home of _President George Washington_ , Ben’s brain helpfully screamed at him) through a back kitchen door. Washington was expecting them, of course, but given the fact that the news outlets still reported Benjamin Tallmadge and Caleb Brewster to be traitors, the secrecy was necessary.

 

Then he and Caleb were in the Oval Office, and there he was. Washington rose up from his desk, and Ben nearly choked on his tongue when he met the man’s steady gaze, hears the voice that echoes out on the television. 

 

Then he was shaking the man’s ( _President. Washington.)_ hand, and Washington directs them to sit on one of the cream couches in the middle of the room, Caleb’s hand brushing the base of his spine as they are seated. Ben can practically feel his smirk. 

 

Then they both began to tell Washington, with input by Nathan, about the last few days. Ben eventually regained enough higher brain power to actually contribute to the conversation, on how Sackett had been tricked by Gamble, and the fallout at the agency. 

 

Washington had looked at Caleb, then Ben again, and he picked up the phone, presumably to make some important calls as they waited on the couches. Nathan typed on his phone madly as Ben and Caleb made eye contact, neither one of them saying a word. 

 

When he finally hangs up the phone, the president moves back to the sofa area, and all three of them rise to meet him. 

 

“You will be able to return to your homes shortly. Arnold has been taken care of. In the meantime, I thank the both of you for your service and integrity to this country,” Washington continues, his voice a rich timbre. “Nathanial Sackett was a good friend of mine, and while his death is a great loss, I have no doubt that the agency will continue to produce strong work under your leadership, Agent Tallmadge.” 

 

Along with the familiar pang of grief under his breastbone at the mention of Sackett, Ben is caught off guard at those last words. “Mr. President?” 

 

“Thank you, Mr. President,” Caleb says smoothly. “Agent Tallmadge is the finest agent I have come across during my brief liaison with the department, and he will be an excellent as Sackett’s replacement.”

 

Behind them, Nathan shifts slightly, likely holding in a snort. The faintest hint of a smile pulls at Washington’s mouth, as if he too knows that Caleb isn’t exactly non-biased in his opinion about Ben. “I have no doubt of that, Lieutenant. I will have one of the agents arrange for you to be transported while the news story blows over.”

 

And just like that, they’re shaking hands once again (Washington even rests a hand on Nathan’s shoulder very briefly), and then Ben finds himself in the back of a tinted-window limo, to a private airport back to Philadelphia. 

 

“Did-” Ben starts, then cuts himself off. 

 

“Did that just happen? Yeah, it did, Tallboy,” Caleb says cheerfully, slapping Ben on the thigh and leaving his hand there. 

 

“I honestly was afraid you were going to pass out when Washington shook your hand,” Nathan says from where he’s seated across from them, still on his phone. “So good on you for that.” 

 

Ben turns to face out the window, Caleb’s hand rubbing small circles on his knee. “He’s taller than I thought he would be,” is what comes out of Ben’s mouth instead, embarrassingly. Nathan snorts out loud this time. 

 

“Should I be jealous?” Caleb says teasingly. “I know I’m your subordinate now, but still, give a man a break-”  


 

Ben covers Caleb’s hand with his own. “Shut up,” he says affectionately, squeezing his hand. “I like how tall you are. Or how short.”

 

“ _Short_ ,” Caleb repeats, giving a fake groan. “I’m really not that short, you know-”

 

“You are, though,” Nathan says, and Caleb flips him off. “Is that really a way to behave in front of your new boss?”

 

“Good thing I’m sleeping with him,” Caleb says easily. Ben rolls his eyes. 

 

“That has got to be against the rules somewhere.”

 

“I don’t think rules apply to spies, babe,” he replies, and Nathan mimes gagging.

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

They part from Nathan at the airport, when he goes back to DC, and they get on the small private plane that Washington got for them, a single Secret Service agent in the corner, along with the pilot. 

 

“Reminds me of my trip to Bolivia,” Caleb says after a moment, but doesn’t continue, probably to spare Ben’s nerves. 

 

He slumps down into the seat. Now that they’re alone, the weight of Washington’s words and the events of the past two weeks have caught up to him. He swallows, and the movement catches Caleb’s eye. “You doing okay?” Caleb says quietly, then. 

 

“Fuck, I don’t know,” Ben admits, looking down at the table in front of them. “It’s just hitting me now. Sackett- Sackett’s dead. We almost died. Arnold and his men almost took everything from us. And now I’m just going to take the position like nothing happened.” 

 

“But they didn’t take everything from us,” Caleb says, taking Ben’s hand. “And you don’t have to be fine, not now. But you don’t have to be alone in this, all right? You’re not alone.” He squeezes his hand then, and if Ben wasn’t already in love with him, he would definitely be now. 

 

The grief is still there, knotted under his breastbone, but as Ben stares out the small window into the clouds below, Caleb’s hand loosely clasped in his own, there’s also violent relief that Caleb is alive. That he’s alive. That they’re going to be okay.

 

There’s a taxi waiting right there for them once the plane lands. Perks for being falsely accused of being American traitors then pardoned by the President himself, Ben supposes. It’s a surprisingly warm evening for the late fall, and the sky is streaked with pink and violet clouds when they leave the city. 

 

When the taxi drops them off in front of the house (no charge, they’re told it’s been taken care of), he’s fully expecting to come back to a bullet-ridden ruin. But to both his and Caleb’s surprise, the house has been repaired in the time they’ve been gone. The bullet holes have been plastered, the windows replaced, and there’s even a new coat of paint on the shutters. 

 

“Huh,” Caleb says from where he’s beside Ben. “I think it looks better than before, actually.” 

 

“That’s because I oversaw the workers yesterday,” a voice calls out from besides them, and both Ben and Caleb turn to see Anna walking across the grass. He’s not sure whether he’s more surprised to see her there, or the fact that she’s wearing flip flops. 

 

“Anna?” Ben gets out, before she’s pulling him into a crushing hug. 

 

“You idiot,” she tells him from where her face is buried in his neck. “The one time I’m late for work. I come in, you’re missing, Caleb is supposedly a terrorist, and Townsend can’t tell me shit.” 

 

She lets go of him, and Ben smiles balefully down at her. “I’m sorry.”

 

She considers him for a moment, then meets his smile. Anna turns to Caleb then, her hands moving to her hips. “Did you really leave your cat with Abe?” 

 

“Annie, am I glad to see you,” Caleb tells her, before she’s also pulling him into a hug. 

 

“I hear you’re the new boss, too,” Anna says to Ben when she releases Caleb. “I hope this means we can still drink together.” 

 

“I was actually hoping to talk to you about that,” Ben says. “But first, what are you doing here?”

 

“Well,” Anna says, “I’m kind of living with Abe right now. And Whiskers.”

 

“ _Abe?_ ” Ben exclaims, as Caleb says, “What have we missed?” 

 

“We’re not dating,” she says, as if that clarifies anything. “We slept together, and it was good, don’t get me wrong, his mouth was absolutely _stellar_ when he went down on _-_ ”

 

“Please don’t continue,” Ben says, as Caleb chokes a bit. 

 

“But my apartment ended up being raided by Arnold’s men, and they torched it. So I’m crashing at his place until I can find somewhere else,” Anna continues. “Real estate is very exclusive in the suburbs, you know, and I’m not a huge fan of living in the city. Besides, I met his ex-wife yesterday. She’s _adorable_.” 

 

They both stare blankly at her for a moment. Anna gives a huff. “Why do I bother,” she says, as if they can’t hear her, insultingly. “I’ll bring the cat over tonight, all right?” 

 

“I might have a solution,” Ben says instead, and both Caleb and Anna look at him strangely. “My house- the one next door, right here. We were going to sell it, before all of this. Would you be interested?” 

 

Now Caleb is definitely choking.   


 

 

•••

 

 

 

“This is a strange situation,” Caleb says to him from where he’s perched on the counter. Anna had accepted his offer, and they had even worked out a reasonable price right there on the lawn. “Three spies as neighbors. It’s practically a TV show.” 

 

He tries to snag one of the green peppers from the omelette that Ben’s making for their dinner, and Ben moves the pan deftly before he can get one. 

 

“It’s not that- oh, fine,” Ben relents, passing him a piece of pepper when he sees Caleb’s pout. “That actually might be four spies. Anna mentioned recruiting Abe, before all of this. I know he’s a lawyer, but she thought he has potential starting him off with Townsend in data collection.” 

 

“I’ll trust her judgement on this,” Caleb says, as he reaches for another piece of pepper. “But you don’t have to dive right into recruiting, you know- ow.” He flinches as his hand comes in contact with hot metal. “Shit, that hurt.” 

 

Ben quickly turns the heat off on the omelette so it will finish cooking by itself, and pulls Caleb’s hand to he can stick it under cold water. “We both know it’ll be hands on from the get go,” Ben says, concentrating on making sure the water isn’t too cold for the small burn. “And this is why you don’t eat food from the pan,” he says without bite, as Caleb allows him to put his finger under water, twisting his torso so he doesn’t have to jump off the countertop. 

 

“I like the danger,” Caleb replies, watching the side of Ben’s face. “I just don’t want you to burn out.”

 

“You don’t think I can do the job?” 

 

“You know that’s not what I mean,” Caleb says, frustration coloring his tone. “You’re incredible, you can do anything you put your mind too, but you’ve been through a lot. You don’t have to be super human for this. You can take small steps.”

 

They’re silent for a moment, as Caleb’s other hand flexes like he wants to touch the other man, but he stays still. 

 

Ben focuses on tilting Caleb’s hand under the cool flow of the water.“After my brother died,” he says instead, “My dad and I had this bad fight. He didn’t think I was letting myself grieve. I thought- I thought he was trying to keep me from going back to my life, that he was afraid he was going to lose me too. First my mom, then Sam, it was a lot for him to go through.”

 

The confession tears something loose in Ben’s chest, and the words tumble out. “The ironic part is that I left him. We’ve barely talked since Sam died. I miss him, but I don’t know if it’ll ever be the same. Sam was his favorite, and I just didn’t want to look at him and see that he only saw who I was compared to him.” 

 

“Oh, Ben,” Caleb says then, when it’s clear that Ben’s choked up. He gently takes his hand back from where Ben’s holding it under the water, and shuts off the water himself. 

“Ben,” he says again, softer, and Ben lets him pull him between his legs. Caleb’s arms come around Ben to hold him tightly, and he presses his face into the worn flannel of Caleb’s shirt, breathing in and out deeply against the warmth of Caleb’s shoulder. The eggs are definitely getting cold, but neither of them move. 

 

They stay like that until the sun sets, casting the kitchen in a dark light, the only illumination the faint blue light of the microwave in the corner. Caleb leads him to bed eventually, where they curl up around each other and fall asleep pressed together. 

 

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

It’s tough at first, getting back into the normal routine. Well, as normal as their lives can be. The next week, they go back to the department office, after they’re cleared by various psychologists and higher-ups to resume their duties. 

 

That first day, when Ben walks into Sackett’s office for the first time- his office now- it’s been cleaned, but when he blinks, he still sees broken glass, can almost smell the metallic tang of blood. 

 

He takes a deep breath, thinks of Caleb. _Small steps_. He logs into the computer, and gets to work.

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

They do end up recruiting Abe on Anna’s advice, several days later. Ben interviews him, once it’s apparent that he is in fact capable enough to work with Townsend, as a formality. 

 

Abe leaves the meeting still looking slightly pale, but no less determined. Half an hour later, Caleb comes in through the open door. “Got a minute?” he says cheekily, flashing a grin as he shuts the door. 

 

Ben smiles, leaning back in his chair as Caleb approaches. “Always.”

 

“So Abe’s positioned to work in the data division, but there’s a problem. Townsend hates his guts already,” Caleb says. 

 

Ben raises his eyebrows. “Townsend? I didn’t think the man could hate anyone.”

 

“Oh, he hates. He definitely hates. I just left them screaming at each other.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. Townsend’s never been a fan of me, sure, but I’ve never seen someone actually go red with rage before, or so quickly at that. It was impressive.”

 

Ben considers the folders in front of him. “Shit. I don’t know who else will be suited to train Abe.”

The door opens, and Anna comes in. “Do you two know that Abe and Townsend are fighting right now?”  
  
“I just told him,” Caleb says. “Does Abe really have that short of a temper?” 

 

She shrugs. “I didn’t think so. I didn’t think that Townsend was so surly too. I mean, he’s a Quaker, I would’ve thought he was less.... combative.” 

 

“Did you talk to them?” Ben asks. 

 

“I separated them just now, told them to work their shit out or you’d fire them both,” she says with a smirk. 

 

Ben feels the urge to hit his head on his desk. “And if they don’t?” 

 

“They’ll work it out,” the dark haired woman says in an unusually cheerful tone, and leaves the office with a nod. 

 

Caleb pats Ben’s arm sympathetically when he groans. 

 

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

 

When Ben goes after another hour to see if the situation has improved, it’s surprisingly quiet down in the data management section of the building. 

 

Sure, the other employees are as far away from Abe and Townsend as they can get, but the two men are in the corner- playing a game of checkers?

 

“Do I want to know?” Ben asks grimly, as both of them get to their feet at his approach.   
  
“I apologize for any news you might have gotten on our... poor reactions earlier,” Townsend says stiffly, and Ben can see Abe roll his eyes. 

 

“What Robert means to say, is that we’ve managed to isolate most of the data that Arnold likely had his hands on,” Abe says, nodding towards a thick stack of folders, as Townsend looks annoyed. “We printed them for your official records, sent them to your computer too.” 

 

_Robert?_

 

Ben eyes the papers. “I don’t need the hard copies. Am I going to have problems with the two of you working together?” 

 

“No, sir,” they both say, and both glare at each other. Ben just barely resists rolling his own eyes. 

  
“Get to work, I want a report of our security systems by the end of the day,” he says, leaving them to squabble over the checkers board again.

 

 

 

•••

 

 

 

 

That night, as Caleb drives the two of them back home, Ben looks at his profile in the setting sun through the car window. He smiles when Caleb turns to meet his gaze. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I love you,” Ben says, just to see Caleb’s eyes crinkle in the corners. “I don’t say that enough.”

 

“Did you adopt another cat or something?” Caleb jokes, but his smile is genuine. “I love you too.” 

 

That night, after dinner, one of them gets up and the other follows him into the bedroom. Caleb leaves a trail of red marks up and down Ben’s torso, and Ben clutches at his dark hair, and thinks to himself, _This is what I want._

 

Afterwards, Caleb’s head is pillowed on Ben’s stomach. Ben feels him breath in and out,his breath warm on his flesh, and he says very quietly, “Thank you.” 

 

Caleb turns his head, surprise in his eyes, but his eyes are dark and warm. “Of course,” he says, pressing a kiss into Ben’s torso. “Always.”

 

 

 

 

•••

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrapping this installment up finally! I have a bunch of ideas for the next part/general plot :) I'm considering doing a holiday special lol (after all, why write a paper when you can write fics)
> 
> comments/kudos always greatly appreciated! <3


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